rough waters steady sailing

today was a real tough one
the pain seems to be managed but the desperate details
are making themselves known.

had to come home last night to spend time with sof
and T was confused and a sad isolate
when i got back there this
morning.
he is disoriented with anyone else still


terrible time finding veins for IVs
efforts totalling over an hour and a half- and too many technicians
but finally the masterful Evelyn ( do we think the angels were at work there)
and Obed managed to get the new lines in and the blood out

yesterday they decided that there were
too many drugs and sedatives so
they decided that
the panic meds had to go and
that of course resulted in-- guess what-
yes, of course
panic

after much clear but measured insistence to all involved
(in case you don't know me i am understating here)
including patient relations and various others
we got the klonapin back and that helped to soothe
the rough waters
hopefully-

they had to do a blood transfusion-- hence the new Iv lines
and that is now done and we shall see if that helps.
otherwise the rest of the stuff seems to be balancing a bit
but it is like riding a rough sea in a steady ship

the captain and mates are doing what they can to keep
the passengers safe and secure
despite mighty waves and resulting nausea..
something like that--

i hope he can rest and sleep thru the night as
i think i can only be at one place at one time
perhaps i should suggest that my daughter and/or
my husband should hallucinate me
allowing me to double
and show up wherever seems best.

okay, tomorrow i have a few appointments and will be in and out
of UCLA and that will correspond with a better day for T
i sure hope

i have Thursday coverage for T when I go to Fullerton to teach
and not sure when he will be home but probably not til end of week if then.

he still needs to sit up in a chair a bit more
keep the lungs clearing
walk the long halls
eat a full meal
breathe without oxygen
keep his blood pressure up on his own
have a better blood count
make friends with the tall black man in the white robes

he watches the clock- minute by minute
informing me how long it has been since he has slept
and how many minutes until the next meal which he isn't eating.
and wondering who is singing to him in the silence
i'd like to know that myself

we are making progress
i am tempting him with ice cream
he is a mighty warrior and doing what he can
the dox are in there too
as well as nurses and care partners
it;s a good effort and we shall see how it continues

and then... if this was the whole thing...
haven't even contemplated what comes next..
nope- not tonight
inch by inch
we are indeed getting by with a great deal of help
from our friends
blessings all round
s