rough riding at ronald reagan

did you know that UCLA Med Center is the Ronald Reagan Medical Center?

what is the difference between getting an airport named for you
or a hospital.
something to be pondered at a later date

it is now thursday and the last 48 hours have been
immensely challenging

the good news is that the surgeon removed two of the four chest tubes
this morning.
the heart is still in A fib and that remains challenging
but blood pressure seems to be okay and his physical strength is returning.
walked the halls twice today and sat in his chair most of the afternoon.

the mood still is enormously troubling

stemming from the Klonapin withdrawal,
the dilaudid , the stress etc.
he has not slept for several nights.
i worked today and understand that he didn't speak all day
which frankly is not so bad after several days of restless
and delusional talk. who was it said that the drugs were great?
hmmm.

they are now working on getting his mood stabilized.
he is calm, too calm,
saying little,watching everything,whispering to me
in private only. more than the regular delusional stuff from dilaudid.
we are into another realm at the moment of quiet and watchful
paranoia. and now complete and utter exhaustion which may work to his advantage finally
and allow him to sleep.

we still have sitters to stay with him when i can not be there and
a few close pals cover him as well quietly remaining as anchors
during this odd and fluid time.

probably at least another 4-5 days here but
i will try to get him strong enough to get him outside on the plaza
to get a little sun and feel a little wind on his skin over the weekend.

he has always been a guy who needs sunshine.

xxoo