klezmer under the stars

though bob dylan and neil young were more his style
last night cousin betsy and friend michael hecht and
their klezmer band played mournful melodies and
sweet syncopations in the garden under the stars
for our Tone
and more food
and more friends and
easter eggs for isaiah
right along with lilacs on the table and
the sounds of davening and
working women--and men-- in the kitchen
making the food, cleaning the plates,
doing the dishes
turning over the barbecue to my darling friend to cook in T's honor....
sitting on low benches and
soft green chairs
and hearing SPACEBALLS play in the office
where another gaggle of kids gathered for T in their way.

i can feel the shift now
T almost jetissoned(sp?) to the upper realms
but lingering close enough enjoy the party
what a glorious send off

and now tonight
chili and kaddish to come
and more friends and a quieter time, perhaps
and maybe more music? or poetry?
or being together simply
as we wend our way to tomorrow and our walk around the block
ending shiva and beginning the rest of our lives.
come be with us if you can these last two nights
we need you to eat and laugh and enjoy the rich
syrup of love oozing from every corner, refilling our little house
with T's spirit

how grateful i am to you all
for me
for sof
for tone

i have pasted the words of Tony's cousin Shelley so you can hear from
another cousin ..
sooon
soooooon
soooooooooon
we will return to our lives
we are winding down and gearing up

we are preparing and we are prepared
much love
s
-----------------------------------------

TRIBUTE TO TONY

TONY’S MOTHER, EVELYN, & MY MOTHER,
CHARLOTTE, WERE 1ST COUSINS. ( MY MOTHER
BEING THE ELDEST). THEIR MOTHERS WERE
SISTERS IN THE LARGE & HANDSOME VICTOR
FAMILY OF BUCHAREST, ROMANIA, WHO CAME TO
PHILADELPHIA IN THE EARLY 1900’S. SOME OF
THE FAMILY THEN MOVED TO LOS ANGELES,
INCLUDING OUR IMMEDIATE FAMILIES.

SO, TECHNICALLY, TONY AND I ARE 1ST COUSINS
ONCE REMOVED. ALTHOUGH WE NEVER DEALT
WITH THE “REMOVED” ASPECT, BUT RATHER, WE
BECAME CLOSER AS WE GREW UP. I, OF COURSE,
HAD A GOOD HEAD START. I WAS AT UCLA WHEN
TONY WAS BORN, IN 1947. BUT AS HE GREW
OLDER THE AGE DISCREPANCY DIMINISHED.

TONY WAS A BEAUTIFUL CHILD, AND WAS VERY
HANDSOME AND TALENTED, AS HE GREW OLDER. I
HAVE SPECIAL RECOLLECTIONS OF HIM, LIKE SNAP SHOTS, OF CERTAIN MOMENTS, SUCH AS WHEN HE WAS RUNNING AROUND WITH HIS FRIENDS AT HIS BAR
MITZVAH PARTY IN THE GARDEN ON OAKHURST;
AS WELL AS LIGHTING THE CANDLES AT HANUKAH
LATKAH PARTIES AT THEIR HOUSE; IN HIGH
SCHOOL, PLAYING THE ROLE OF EL GALLO, IN THE
FANTASTICS, WITH HIS BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE; THE IMPRESSIVE BAND, CALLED THE PLAYBOYS, HE PUT TOGETHER., PLAYING DRUMS AT THAT TIME. HE HAD A NATURAL TALENT WITH INSTRUMENTS, AS WELL AS A GOOD VOICE.

WHEN HE WENT INTO THE THEATER, RAY AND I
FOLLOWED HIM, LIKE GROUPIES -- TO THE WEST COAST REPORTORY THEATER, THE LOS ANGELES MUSIC CENTER, LONDON AND NEW YORK.

ON OUR FIRST TRIP TO EUROPE IN 1970, WITH ALL
OF OUR KIDS, WE MET TONY FOR DINNER IN
LONDON. AS HE WAS THE YOUNG MAN ABOUT
TOWN, WORKING IN THE THEATER THERE, HE
CHOSE THE RESTAURANT, AND, IT WAS A GOOD
ONE.

THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF OUR GASTRONOMIC
ADVENTURES TOGETHER. WHEN WE WOULD BE IN
NEW YORK AND HE WAS WORKING THERE, WE
WOULD ALWAYS MEET FOR DINNER. THIS HAS
CONTINUED HERE IN L.A. OCCASIONALY, WITH
TONY & SUSAN, AS WELL.

TONY WAS THE MAIN PROMOTER OF THE FAMILY
MOTHER’S DAY PICNICS OVER THE YEARS. WHICH
WERE ALWAYS FUN, SOMETIMES INCLUDING A
BASKETBALL GAME. AND WE HAVE SHARED MANY
FAMILY HOLIDAY DINNERS AS WELL. EITHER AT
THEIR HOUSE OR OUR HOUSE.

FAMILY HAS ALWAYS BEEN IMPORTANT TO TONY,
OUR FAMILY OF COUSINS, AS WELL AS HIS
WONDERFUL FAMILY OF FRIENDS, WITH WHOM I
HAVE BECOME BETTER ACQAINTED, AND HAVE
COME TO APPRECIATE, MORE RECENTLY.

THE TRADITION OF YOUNGER COUSINS GROWING
UP TO OLDER COUSINS HAS HAPPILY CONTINUED
WITH MY SONS, RON & FINN DEVELOPING STRONG
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH TONY,
THEMSELVES.

AS SUCCESSFUL AS TONY WAS IN THE THEATER, (I
ALWAYS WONDERED WHY HE WASN’T
“DISCOVERED” A LA JOHN TRAVOLTA, AS A YOUNG
MAN, HE WAS SO TALENTED AND HANDSOME BUT,
OH WELL… ) ACTUALLY, HE HAS BEEN EVEN MORE
SUCCESSFUL IN HIS REAL ESTATE CAREER HE
SEEMED TO BE A NATURAL AT IT. HE HAS WON
ALL KINDS OF AWARDS, WAS AT THE TOP OF HIS PROFESSION, AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE TOOK PLEASURE IN HIS SUCCESS

ALL THROUGH THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY, THERE
WAS A FLURRY OF SOCIAL ACTIVITY IN TONY’S LIFE. HE WAS TAKEN TO CELEBRATORY DINNERS AND LUNCHES IN BEAUTIFUL AND INTERESTING
PLACES, TO LAKERS GAMES, AND EVERYTHING
ELSE ONE COULD THINK OF. HE THOROUGHLY
ENJOYED AND APPRECIATED EVERY MOMENT OF
IT.

HE HAD A GREAT CAPACITY TO ENJOY THE GOOD
THINGS IN HIS LIFE, GOOD FOOD AND WINE, INCLUDED. HE LOVED TRAVELING, AND
ADVENTURING, AS WELL. FROM HIKING THE INCA
TRAIL AT MACHU PICHU; TO TONY & SUSAN’S
HONEYMOON IN SUCH EXOTIC PLACES AS
MOROCCO, BALI, AND JAVA, WHERE THEY VISITED WITH COUSINS & COMPOSERS, LARRY POLANSKY & JODY DIAMOND, INVOLVED WITH INDONESIAN MUSIC;
TO THEIR TRIP LAST SUMMER TO THE
GALAPAGOS ISLANDS, WHEN HE E-MAILED HIS CLIENTS “THE ECONOMIC FORECAST” REPORT FROM THE PLANE, EN ROUTE.

AND, HE LOVED ALL THE GOOD PEOPLE IN HIS LIFE, HIS FAMILY AND GOOD FRIENDS.

OF COURSE, HE ADORED SUSAN & SOFI. HE WAS SO PROUD AND SUPPORTIVE OF ALL OF SUSAN’S TALENTS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS. AND HE WAS EXTREMELY PROUD OF THE MATURE, LOVELY AND BRIGHT YOUNG WOMAN SOFI HAS BECOME.

TONY WAS AN APPEALING, LOVABLE, QUALITY
PERSON OF GREAT INTEGRITY. THOUGH WE WILL ALL MISS HIM GREATLY, HE WILL LIVE ON FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS.



SHELLY KAPPE
MARCH 15, 2008