so.. a paradigm shift for us

hello friends
a busy day for us... errands and lunch at the bel air hotel for T
and me being super Mom and
both of us ending the day with massage and warm thoughts.

yesterday was a big day.
we met with the lawyer about a possible claim against
possible asbestos exposure manufacturers. the lawyer is this sweet faced killer ( i hope)
who has a brother who is a lighting designer
he's a nice yiddisha boy . a little too nice for his job but
T felt good about him i think and we signed on the dotted line. then
Tony got to tell his WHOLE work history as a stage technician and
despite the fact that these experiences are killing him
it was an enjoyable exercise for both of us,
for T to remember all those theatres and light cables and catwalks
and girls, and flats and hammers and painting jobs and girls
and ceramic studios and culpable glazes and airplane parts and yes, of course,
girls.

so, we now leave it to the lawyer to see if he can make any official connections
and the only thing T has to do is a deposition in the future and either it
will work or not but that's done.

then, on the medical front we had a hell of a roller coaster day
with everything from a possibility of many years, to the possibility of being
a"pulmonary cripple", to the possibility of dying in two months to
where I think we have landed which is probably, that:

there is indeed a confirmation of cancer in the left lung
therefore , we will not do a biopsy there to see if it
could maybe be inflammation--fantasy island surgeon stuff-
that the surgeon was hoping would allow
T to consider a horrendous surgery where they remove the entire right lung,
the lining,
the pericardium ( that's the lining of the heart) and then maybe --
just maybe, if you live thru the operation,
just about the time you recover from surgery
you're dead frome xhaustion or worse...
soooooo, frankly, i am very pleased that that is off the table.

and now so we revisit chemo and we are now being told that
it might even give T another complete year so
okay-- they have lots of nausea drugs, and i think i can convince him to go
jacques brel with a black beret
and it may even get him to Sofie's graduation!! so hell--
we're going for that.

soooo, a couple more tortuous meetings about possible scenarios and
then i think he will start the standard cistiplain and alimta chemo thing
and we will see how it goes--

so000 we re now in a paradigm shift from
dying from cancer
to
LIVING with cancer-- (read VOLDEMORT)
but this one will be named and faced

sooo, that means, sharpen your pencils and get out the cookbooks because we got a hell of a year to be living thru and we are available for social occasions, weekends in the country,
dinners, lunches, brunches, football , snoozes, beach breakfasts and other quality celebrations of all kinds. including periodic weeping and massage and pots of soup and volunteering to do the dishes.

who knows how it will go
but here we are and there we'll be...
with your help and love and support from which we are
already eternally altered for the better

blessings all
stay tuned
love