FYI/THE FIRST TWO EMAILS ABOUT TONY;S CANCER

DEC 28/07
hello family and friends
hope this finds everyone well and readying themselves for the new year

we are facing a new challenge in our family and we wanted to let you know about it now though our information is basic. sorry that we have to do this via email but phone calls are a bit difficult at this point.

tony had been experiencing some difficult breathing and health problems in the last few weeks-- tho the heart arrythmia problem has always been the thing that we thought would be of most concern -

we were very surprised to learn that he had developed fluid on his lungs which was initially identified as pneumoniaa bout ten days ago
the fluid was drained and no bad elements were found but we proceeded to biopsy because a CT scan showed some distressing mass and a background akin to van gogh's starry starry night--

we were also surprised and distressed to find yesterday after the major lung biopsy here are cedars that his right lung is full of cancerous tumor. actually the wuote from the throacic surgeon is "sheets and sheets of tumor"--- we know very little more at this point in terms of prognosis or treatment. today we have a confirmed diagnosis of mesothelioma-- the asbestos cancer-- usually the gift to construction workers or Steve McQueen clones-- but now confirmed as filling the right lung of my handsome husband. go know----

so.. he is now resting and healing from the biopsy and should be home from the hospital by monday or tuesday.
we will meet with the oncologist on thursday and then we will begin to get more of an idea.

mostly -- tony wanted you to know. he is fine, clear eyed and clearly seeing every and all parts of the equation and we are taking everything exactly one moment at a time

please feel free to tell whoever might need to know--, and if anyone has an email for robin lent or leann sandefer,tom o'rourke, bill lustig and bob waks--we'd would appreciate that.

i won't be answering the phone too much in the next few days but email is always good-- we are surrounded by lots of loving friends and very smart doctors and now we need some prayers

hope to be in touch with everyone soon
once he heals from this surgery --visits probably welcome
to be continued

much love
susan and tony


January 3/08
hello everyone
well-- thanks are just a part of what everyone in our full and lusciously endowed community deserves. just know how important that love and light stuff really is--

the beauty and support of every shoulder and every sigh does really ease the load so count on me when your time comes-- because we know these times come to us all, one after the other.

and here is where we are today.
mostly tony and sofie and i are solid and strong and enjoying the true weirdness of living and its violent perfection

t and i went to the doctor today. the oncology center to the stars complete with cappuccino and cocoa makers . felt like willy wonka and the chocolate factory with a great deal of living happening in every corner. they strike just the right note. but we won't be spending much time there.

the cancer is now clearly in Tony's left lung as well as the right. the liquid excreted night before last in the ER was indeed pleural liquid giving us a preview of this fact. options were limited to us. surgery , awful and not an option since it is spread. chemo would extend his life perhaps a month or two at best-- and those months full of poison pumping and hours in a clinic with IV's and phosphoresence-- why rake muck, as buber says-- when we can be stringing pearls to the delight of heaven.

bottom line is. anywhere from 6 months to a year at the outside if we are lucky.

at this point and ths may change of course--
tony has decided that, after the fabulous evelyn model, he would rather live his life than run after it. he wants to feel good and celebrate with friends and family and take care of business and have the joy of all that until that doesn't work, and then we will have hospice here at home and all usher him over. i am fully in support of this decision-- we all feel good about it--

there is no cancer warrior game to play, we have other things to do with the time we have--fighting for fight sake gives very little return--so please understand that-- we are not in the pep talk realm-- the CT scan was immensely clear that there is nothing to "go for"-- except beauty and joy and time together.

so we are going to celebrate and enjoy each other and laugh and cry and drink champagne for now and do what we can
and then when soup and low voices are in order we will do that too.

we love and value each and every one of you.
we look forward to your support-- -
email remains the best still but things will have an odd normalcy now and evenings are good to come by for now. we will just play it as we go.. do check in by email if you'd like

sofie is fabulous and clear and she says she'll be around until we all make her sick and then she'll head out to be with friends-- we came home and all sat together and talked it all thru together and then had a good lunch at the Grand Luxe and tonight Sof and T will watch some football together and hang with whoever comes by

so we are good
and we are strong and we are full of life and living
and we know you are too
feel free to pass this info around

and we hope to see you or talk to you when we can--
me being the curmudgeon i am and
t enjoying the fruits of his life-- your friendship and love and support
to the next months of adventure

sofie needs to get school work done
and we all have jobs to do
much much love
s